Alternate sewing summit advice line

One thing that happened the day before I went away was that I GOT A TICKET FOR SEWING SUMMIT! Or rather, the marvellous Katy did as it was middle of the night Australian time (Lucky cos it sold out in 8 hours).

Sewing Summit and Salt Lake City, here we come. (And possibly Hawaii - if i can stop over on the way).

Danny also got a ticket. (That slacker Sunni was too busy having a love affair with her brother to pull her finger out and get a ticket. I mean geez, if I can get one in the middle of the night from the other side of the world... )

So am I going half way around the world just to sew? No siree. I'm taking off with Katy for a two week trip around some of the national parks of the area. Our plan looks something like this:

I am particularly looking forward to the National Park of Las Vegas which we will be hitting on my birthday if all goes according to plan. The wildlife there is, well, wild.  Katy said she is an expert stripper if we run short of cash. Unfortunately she meant strip-piecing quilts which isn't quite as lucrative but at least she's thinking.

I do love some of the names. Los Lunas, meaning place of lost lunatics. Spanish fork, because that is what they eat with. Tuba city, home of the marching band. The shopping baskets on the map, by the way, are quilt shops.

The Sewing Summit website offers a range of sensible information. However, it does not provide the advice I need or the things I really want to know. You know, the essential stuff. Like:

• Where is the nearest IHOP to the Sewing Summit hotel? 
• Do I REALLY need to sew my own luggage labels? 
• What if everyone else's sewing is better than mine? 
• How do I crochet my own toothbrush from cheese-in-a-can?

Sewing Summit NEEDS a panel to respond to important issues like these. So Danny, Katy and I are offering ourselves up as Alternate Sewing Summit gurus. (ASS gurus for short).

So we are doing research and we are willing to share.
I have found the IHOP.
Katy has bookmarked every Cheesecake Factory on our route.
And Danni has begun knitting cheese.

So you can ask us anything you like, from "what if no one at Sewing Summit wants to be my friend?" to "How do I sew my nametag into my own skin without getting a gangrenous infection?" and we will answer.

Not sensibly, but we will answer.